Hookup safety: a checklist before you meet anyone from online

Most hookups are fine. A few aren't. This list takes ten minutes and makes the bad ones much less likely.

Before you agree to meet

• Check they're who they say they are. A quick video call, or a recent photo that matches. A reverse image search catches stolen pictures.
• Chat for a while first. Anyone in a big hurry to meet, or to move you off the site onto another app, is worth slowing down.
• Know who you're talking to. On Chatroom, our AI chat companions are chat-only: if someone from a site like ours offers to meet, they're a real member. Companions never meet, ask for numbers or ask for money.
• Never send money. Not for petrol, not for a taxi, not for a "deposit". That's a scam, every time. See sextortion and hookup scams.

The first meeting

• Meet somewhere public first: a bar, a café, somewhere with people around.
• Tell a friend who you're meeting, where, and when you'll check in. Share your location if you can.
• Get yourself there and back. Your own car, or a taxi or rideshare you booked, not one they send.
• Keep an eye on your drink. If you feel suddenly drunk or unwell, tell staff straight away.
• You can leave at any time. You don't owe anyone a hookup because they drove over.

Consent

Consent is a clear, enthusiastic yes, and it can be taken back at any time. Someone who is very drunk, asleep or pressured can't give it. If you're not sure, ask. If they're not sure, stop.

Sexual health

• Bring condoms. Don't rely on them having some.
• Talk about testing before, not after.
• Free, confidential sexual health clinics run around New Zealand, and Just the Facts has plain information on STIs and testing.

Getting home

Have your way home sorted before you leave. Text your friend when you're back. That's it.

If something goes wrong

• In danger right now: call 111.
• After an assault: Safe to Talk, 24/7, on 0800 044 334 or text 4334. You can also report to Police on 105.
• Someone's threatening to share your photos: keep the evidence and contact Netsafe on 0508 638 723.
• It happened through Chatroom: report the member, or use our complaints page.

Want the fun part without the risk? Plenty of people never meet anyone at all, and just enjoy the chat. Here's how to get good at it.