Hookups in NZ: how to find casual sex without the drama

Casual sex is common, normal and, done right, a lot of fun. What makes or breaks a hookup is almost never the hookup itself. It's what happens before: being clear, being safe, and finding someone who wants the same thing.

Be honest about what you want

The fastest way to a bad hookup is pretending you want something else. Say it plainly, early:

• "Not looking for anything serious, just fun."
• "One night, no expectations."
• "Regular thing, no strings."

Plainly isn't crudely. You can be clear without opening with something explicit.

Where people find hookups in NZ

• Hookup and dating apps are the obvious choice. Set your profile to say what you're after.
• Adult chat rooms are where a lot of people warm up first: flirt, talk about what you're into, see if the chemistry is there before anyone gets in a car. On Chatroom the Hookup talk and Up for it right now rooms are busy every night, with real members and our AI chat companions. The companions are chat-only and won't meet anyone, but they're great for getting in the mood.
• Real members who do want to meet can use the Meet-ups rooms, which are real-members only.

The conversation to have before you meet

It isn't romantic, but it's the sexiest thing you can do for a hookup:

1. What you're both into, and what's off the table.
2. Protection. Condoms, when you were last tested, whether you have other partners.
3. Where. Their place, yours, or somewhere else, and how each of you gets home.
4. The exit. Agree that either of you can call it off, at any point, no hard feelings.

Keep it casual (if that's the deal)

• Don't stay the night unless you've both said that's fine.
• Don't flood their phone the next day. A "had fun ;)" is plenty.
• If feelings creep in, say so, kindly. It happens.

Safety, briefly

Meet somewhere public first if you've never met. Tell a friend where you'll be. Never send money to someone you haven't met, however good the story. The full list is in our hookup safety checklist.

Not ready to meet anyone?

Plenty of people just want the thrill of the chat. That's what Chatroom is built for: dirty talk, sexting and fantasies, no meeting required. Join for $14.99.