12 online chat safety habits every Kiwi should have

Chatting with strangers is half the fun of the internet. A few habits make the difference between a great night and a bad week. None of these are complicated — they're the things experienced chatters do without thinking.

Before you chat

1. Pick a username that isn't you

Your username shouldn't include your surname, workplace, street or year of birth. "kate_from_tauranga" is fine; "kate.morris.1991" is not.

2. Use a separate email

A free email address just for chat sites keeps your main inbox (and the accounts attached to it) out of reach.

3. Turn on what you need, nothing more

On myQR, your online status is only visible to contacts you've accepted, and you can appear offline any time. R18 channels and photos are off until you switch them on yourself.

While you chat

4. Keep it in the chat — at first

Moving straight to a phone number or another app is a common scam tactic: it gets you away from the site's reporting and blocking tools. There's no rush.

5. Never share these

Your home address, your workplace, your bank or card details, your IRD number, photos of your ID, or one-time codes sent to your phone. No genuine person needs them.

6. Money requests end the conversation

A sick relative, a stuck parcel, a "guaranteed" investment, a flight they can't afford — the story changes, the ask doesn't. Netsafe's romance scam guide lists the patterns, including chats that slowly turn into an "investment opportunity".

7. Watch for pressure

Fast declarations of love, demands for secrecy, or guilt when you say no are all red flags. Healthy conversations move at a pace you're comfortable with.

8. Think before you send a photo

Once a photo leaves your phone, you can't fully control it. If you do share intimate photos with someone you trust, leave your face and any identifying tattoos, rooms or windows out of frame. On myQR, photos can only be sent between contacts who've both opted in, they're hidden until opened, you can unsend them, and they delete themselves after a few days — but a screenshot is always possible.

If something goes wrong

9. Block first, explain never

You don't owe anyone a reason. Blocking someone on myQR hides you from each other, stops messages and withdraws any photo permission.

10. Report it

Reports go to a real moderator. Reported photos are hidden from both people straight away while we look.

11. Don't pay a blackmailer

If someone threatens to share images of you unless you pay, don't pay and don't keep negotiating. Keep the evidence (screenshots of the messages and their profile), block them, and get help. Paying almost never makes it stop.

12. Know who to call

• Netsafe — free, confidential help with online harm: report online or call 0508 638 723.
• NZ Police — 105 for non-emergencies, 111 if you're in danger.
• Your bank — straight away if you've sent money or shared card details.
• Need to talk? — free call or text 1737, any time.

Sharing an intimate image of someone without their consent is a crime in New Zealand. If it's happened to you, you haven't done anything wrong — see our explainer on what the law says.