Chat room etiquette: 10 ways to start a conversation that actually gets a reply

"hi" is the most ignored message in any chat room. Not because people are rude — because there's nothing to reply to. Here's how regulars start conversations that go somewhere.

1. Read the room first

Give it a minute. What are people talking about? Jumping into the conversation that's already happening beats starting a new one.

2. Reply to someone, by name

Tag them — "@sam that's the best pie in Kaikōura, fight me" — and you've given them a reason to answer. On myQR, hover any message and click Reply to tag the person.

3. Ask something people have opinions about

"Best tramp under three hours near Wellington?" gets ten answers. "Anyone here?" gets none.

4. Bring something to the table

A song you've had on repeat, a terrible movie you loved, what you're cooking. Specific beats generic every time.

5. Match the room

The lobby is for everyone. Music is for music. R18 channels are for adults who've opted in. Flirting in the gaming room is how you get ignored (or reported).

6. Keep it short

Chat moves fast. Two or three short lines beat a paragraph nobody scrolls back to read.

7. Don't jump straight to private messages

Chat in the room first. If you click with someone, then send a private message — and if they don't reply, let it go.

8. Use emoticons, not caps

:) and ;) turn into emoji on myQR. CAPITALS READ AS SHOUTING.

9. Nudge sparingly

A nudge shakes the other person's window. Once is cheeky; three times is how you end up blocked.

10. Leave the room better than you found it

Welcome new people. Answer the question someone asked twenty minutes ago that nobody saw. Rooms feel alive because of the people who do this.

Bonus: make the contact list work for you

When you enjoy chatting with someone, click their name and Add to contacts. Once they accept, you'll see when they're online, what their status is, and their personal message — and you'll get a little pop-up when they sign in.

Ready to try it? Have a look at the rooms, or join for $14.99.